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  1. #1
    Colonel xXxAurorAxXx's Avatar
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    Diary of a pom in western australia

    Posting this little story I found cuz its soooo foking funny and knowing everything he wrote is true, it makes even more funny. Its Summer here now, and this is what life is like in The Great State Of Western Australia!!

    And for those that don't know, a Pom is what we Aussies call a person from England/ Uk.

    DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA..

    August 31
    Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
    Now this is a town that knows how to live!
    Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
    I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
    It was beautiful.
    I've finally found my new home.
    I love it here.

    September 13
    Really heating up now.
    It got to 31 today.
    No problem though.
    Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
    What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
    I'm turning into a sun-worshiper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

    September 30
    Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
    Lots of palms and rocks.
    No more mowing lawns for me!
    Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
    It's Paradise !

    October 10
    The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
    How do people get used to this kind of heat?
    At least today it's windy though.
    Keeps the flies off a bit.
    Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

    October 15
    Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
    Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
    Missed three days off work.
    What a dumb thing to do..
    Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

    October 20
    - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
    By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
    The car now smells like Whiskettes (Cat food) and cat sh1t.
    I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

    October 25
    - This wind is a bastard.
    It feels like a giant f@#king blow dryer.
    And it's hot as hell!
    The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from f@#king Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.

    October 30
    - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the f@#king air conditioner.
    House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
    Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
    Why the hell did I ever come here?

    November 4
    Finally got the f@#ing air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
    Stupid repairman.
    f@#king thief.

    November 8
    - If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
    I'm going to f@#king throttle him.
    F@#king heat!
    By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my f@#king clothes are soaking f@#king wet and I smell like baked cat.
    F@#king place is the end of the Earth.

    November 9
    - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
    I thought my f@#king arse was on fire.
    I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my f@#king arse.
    Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
    f@#k, F@#k. F@#k.

    November 10
    -- The Weather report might as well be a f@#king recording..
    Hot and sunny.
    Hot and sunny, Hot and f@#king sunny.
    It never f@#king changes!
    It's been too hot to do anything for 2 f@#king months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
    F@#k!

    November 15
    - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f@#king place?
    Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the f@#king pool.
    The only things that thrive in this f@#king hell-hole are the f@#king flies.
    You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

    November 20
    - Welcome to HELL!
    It got to 45 f@#kin' degrees today.
    Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
    The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
    I wanted to shove the f@#king car up his f@#king arse.
    Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
    F@#king Karratha!
    What kind of sick, demented f@#king idiot would want to live here!

    December 1
    - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
    You are f@#king kidding me!


    When you wake up..
    I'll be a story in your head,
    But that's ok.
    We are all stories in the end.

    Just make it a good one eh?
    Because it was, you know.
    It was the best.

    ~ The Doctor.

    MsAbella ~ Priest

  2. #2
    And no mention that every other living thing in Australia is trying to eat you.

    Never understood why you Aussies call US the poms when it was what you convicts were originally called

  3. #3
    Colonel xXxAurorAxXx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neophyte28 View Post
    And no mention that every other living thing in Australia is trying to eat you.

    Never understood why you Aussies call US the poms when it was what you convicts were originally called
    haha yea I know. Its a funny one isn't it and many different theory's, But well its just stuck over the years and prolly will continue to do so haha.

    And hey, I aint no convict lol. My Grandmother was shipped over here back in the day but that was for other reasons lol ;p


    When you wake up..
    I'll be a story in your head,
    But that's ok.
    We are all stories in the end.

    Just make it a good one eh?
    Because it was, you know.
    It was the best.

    ~ The Doctor.

    MsAbella ~ Priest

  4. #4
    Conscript Mctwattybollox's Avatar
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    30 degrees is hot enough for me, I'd go crazy like the Karratha Pom, living in that kind of heat.
    I tried to find a diary of an Australian transferred to work in the UK, without success I may add.
    I guess most pub bar staff probably don't write diaries...........
    First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.
    Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
    Finally they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

    ~ Martin Niemöller

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Mctwattybollox View Post
    I tried to find a diary of an Australian transferred to work in the UK, without success I may add.
    I guess most pub bar staff probably don't write diaries...........
    Ahaha quality!

    Meanwhile in Australia...


  6. #6
    Colonel xXxAurorAxXx's Avatar
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    It got to 44 today. I had to leave work. I couldn't hack it. It was unbearable


    When you wake up..
    I'll be a story in your head,
    But that's ok.
    We are all stories in the end.

    Just make it a good one eh?
    Because it was, you know.
    It was the best.

    ~ The Doctor.

    MsAbella ~ Priest

  7. #7
    You should show us your tan lines Sheila... or lack of

  8. #8
    Colonel xXxAurorAxXx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neophyte28 View Post
    You should show us your tan lines Sheila... or lack of
    Double post, but it you only knew how much I hate the word "Sheila" lol


    When you wake up..
    I'll be a story in your head,
    But that's ok.
    We are all stories in the end.

    Just make it a good one eh?
    Because it was, you know.
    It was the best.

    ~ The Doctor.

    MsAbella ~ Priest

  9. #9
    Colonel xXxAurorAxXx's Avatar
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    I work out side everyday in this heat. I got asked the other day by a taxi driver if I was a kiwi cuz of how brown my skin is turning lol


    When you wake up..
    I'll be a story in your head,
    But that's ok.
    We are all stories in the end.

    Just make it a good one eh?
    Because it was, you know.
    It was the best.

    ~ The Doctor.

    MsAbella ~ Priest

  10. #10
    Oh rack off you dag!

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