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A couple had a fight one night and when they went to bed the husband shouted "good night mother of 3 kids" and the wife replied "goodnight father of none"

Husband comes home from work and brings back a bunch of flowers, the wife says "I have to open my legs now don't i?" And the husband replied... "don't we have a vase now?"

When a man talks dirty to a women it's sexual harrassment but when i women talks dirty to a man its 3.15$ per a minute.

Warning: Condoms aren't 100% protective. My mate was wearing one and he fell down the stairs.

What a baller! I'm suprised he hasn't messaged messaged me about my wrath.